The Succinct Pride and Prejudice

It has been brought to my attention that my last post, which was uncharacteristically long-winded, would benefit from some bullet points to allow the reader to get the gist of the ideas presented so they can quickly move on to other matters. In that spirit, here is my executive summary of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, one of the greatest novels in the English language:

• Elizabeth hates Darcy
• Darcy proposes (what a jerk)
  
• Darcy has a nice house
• Lydia is a slut; Darcy settles her hash
  
• Elizabeth loves Darcy

Now you don't need to read the book.